Political Humor
Breaking News
..wherever we can, because we can!
First, on a serious note...
A General without a war, is like a mouse without cheese! He can't exist if he's not doing what he's trained to do! We created the monster known as the Atom Bomb and because it existed, we not soon thereafter found an excuse to use it, twice! Now we have another monster that grows even during peace time, it's stomach grumbling and growling from inactivity, and that feeling of uselessness in not having somewhere to be, something to do, and someone to command! We must be careful that such impatience does not lead us from one conflict to the next, just to satisfy the hunger of a beast whose appetite can never be satisfied.
The survival of America, along with healthy relationships with those Nations abroad, depend upon mutual respect for each our own respective borders, that we may put distance between conflict, though they are most likely to come eventually.
Let us not keep finding our excuses for war, but instead ways to avoid them! The more time that passes, presents more devastating weapons being developed, the likes of which do not just kill a few, but leaves behind massive graveyards of the many; That's all fine of course, until you realize it's the absence of your sons and daughters that have created the vacancies at your own empty dinner tables, never again to be filled. How so generous they are with the lives of others, those they so easily send to their deaths, because they do not feel the pain, of the sacrifices that ask of others, with just a moments amount of time to say goodbye, shedding a tear or two for the cameras to catch, all the while, plotting and schemes what wars can be won next, at the expense of those selected to do the dying!
Shed your tears for the dead, warmongers, those service men who have died in wars long past, and torture yourselves, those who survived whom ask why, as today, you sleep with the very enemies you were once ordered to kill, and those today we kill, are but those we share beds with tomorrow! What a waste of human life, that will continue to be, until we come together to answer the question of why?
A General without a war, is like a mouse without cheese! He can't exist if he's not doing what he's trained to do! We created the monster known as the Atom Bomb and because it existed, we not soon thereafter found an excuse to use it, twice! Now we have another monster that grows even during peace time, it's stomach grumbling and growling from inactivity, and that feeling of uselessness in not having somewhere to be, something to do, and someone to command! We must be careful that such impatience does not lead us from one conflict to the next, just to satisfy the hunger of a beast whose appetite can never be satisfied.
The survival of America, along with healthy relationships with those Nations abroad, depend upon mutual respect for each our own respective borders, that we may put distance between conflict, though they are most likely to come eventually.
Let us not keep finding our excuses for war, but instead ways to avoid them! The more time that passes, presents more devastating weapons being developed, the likes of which do not just kill a few, but leaves behind massive graveyards of the many; That's all fine of course, until you realize it's the absence of your sons and daughters that have created the vacancies at your own empty dinner tables, never again to be filled. How so generous they are with the lives of others, those they so easily send to their deaths, because they do not feel the pain, of the sacrifices that ask of others, with just a moments amount of time to say goodbye, shedding a tear or two for the cameras to catch, all the while, plotting and schemes what wars can be won next, at the expense of those selected to do the dying!
Shed your tears for the dead, warmongers, those service men who have died in wars long past, and torture yourselves, those who survived whom ask why, as today, you sleep with the very enemies you were once ordered to kill, and those today we kill, are but those we share beds with tomorrow! What a waste of human life, that will continue to be, until we come together to answer the question of why?
Actual News Headline reads...
The Context...
Translated into FUNNY...
The Context...
Translated into FUNNY...
- Always adding more below here, keep checking back -
Actual News Headline reads...
Corporate America's relationship with Saudi Arabia runs deep
Published on Oct 19, 2018 - CBS News
The Context...
The alleged murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi is putting a spotlight on American companies' financial ties with the kingdom.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News again ...wherever they're trying to fix it incorrectly! Amidst the recent Saudi breakup and subsequent violent goodbye of Jamal Khashoggi journalist, extremist and former classmate with long time friend, Osama Bin Laden as well as other known terrorists, ..translated Israeli sources, in a statement on Saudi State "approved" TV, announced after having drawn straws, that they have come to the painfully easy decision through a game of "rock, paper and scissors", of whom amongst them they would select, deciding unanimously upon the high-ranking Officer they all liked the least, to be, as Americans would say, their "escaping goat!"
On a happier note, the Trump Administration wanting to put this event far behind us, has urged News Agencies not to be so bipolar, and to provide news that portrays a strong and growing American economy nestled under the wealthy arms of a booming Trump/Saudi Business infrastructure, of which a portion will probably end up in the pockets of those whom probably it should NOT!
Corporate America's relationship with Saudi Arabia runs deep
Published on Oct 19, 2018 - CBS News
The Context...
The alleged murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi is putting a spotlight on American companies' financial ties with the kingdom.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News again ...wherever they're trying to fix it incorrectly! Amidst the recent Saudi breakup and subsequent violent goodbye of Jamal Khashoggi journalist, extremist and former classmate with long time friend, Osama Bin Laden as well as other known terrorists, ..translated Israeli sources, in a statement on Saudi State "approved" TV, announced after having drawn straws, that they have come to the painfully easy decision through a game of "rock, paper and scissors", of whom amongst them they would select, deciding unanimously upon the high-ranking Officer they all liked the least, to be, as Americans would say, their "escaping goat!"
On a happier note, the Trump Administration wanting to put this event far behind us, has urged News Agencies not to be so bipolar, and to provide news that portrays a strong and growing American economy nestled under the wealthy arms of a booming Trump/Saudi Business infrastructure, of which a portion will probably end up in the pockets of those whom probably it should NOT!
Actual News Headline reads...
Tucker: Top Democrats bash America to get power
Published on Oct 17, 2018
The Context...
These days, the more you despise America, the better a Democrat you are.
Translated into FUNNY...
World News Network - Bringing you news we're allowed to... America is kaput! We should just surrender our guns to those that know which end does what, and beg the United Nations to solve the problems us stupid American's aren't intelligent enough to solve ourselves! ...or NOT! Or we can just tell the United Nations to sit down and SHUT UP! <-- This is what I would prefer to do!
Tucker: Top Democrats bash America to get power
Published on Oct 17, 2018
The Context...
These days, the more you despise America, the better a Democrat you are.
Translated into FUNNY...
World News Network - Bringing you news we're allowed to... America is kaput! We should just surrender our guns to those that know which end does what, and beg the United Nations to solve the problems us stupid American's aren't intelligent enough to solve ourselves! ...or NOT! Or we can just tell the United Nations to sit down and SHUT UP! <-- This is what I would prefer to do!
Actual News Headline reads...
Popular burger chains tested for antibiotics in beef
Published on Oct 17, 2018
The Context...
Consumer groups tested burgers from 25 popular chains and gave 22 of them, including McDonald's and Burger King, failing grades for the presence of antibiotics in beef. CBS News' Hilary Lane reports.
Translated into Semi-FUNNY...
Breaking News beyond repair -- Amidst the increasing fears American's already have of what's lurking under the microscopes in the foods now being approved for our consumption, we have a bit of good news we hope will lighten the mood. I mean, bad compared to worse, isn't all that bad, is it?
In America, nothing says LOVE, more than the efforts of those highly trained and qualified professionals working night and day, to provide us with the best quality foods that go into the mouths of our loved ones. A few notable mentions...
ConAgra, the name itself embodies such, um, ...dirt and other stuff, ...have to check with Monsanto on that for clarification.
Kraft, when natural just isn't good enough, they've gone that extra mile bringing you closer to the next evolutionary step of mankind
Hebrew National, though I doubt anyone at ConAgra actually speaks Hebrew, perhaps just another attempt to blame the Jews.
Soy Vay Enterprises, Owned by the Clorox Company, I ate this stuff for years, till one day the GMO warning labels started showing up
Hain Celestial Group, I used to drink the heck out of this stuff, till the pesticides started showing up!
Quaker Oats, always a trusted name in just about every household, that is until PepsiCo bought them out, and pesticides were found!
Minute-Maid, owned by Coca Cola Company, having ruined their own reputations, they're now staying in business under trusted labels
Tropicana, owned by PepsiCo, Coca Cola's evil twin!
General Mills, just another dime a dozen corporation jumping on the "Produced with Genetic Engineering" bandwagon!
Moral of the story..
EPA is now regulating how much pesticides are safe for human consumption, so as to stop the growing influx of corporate lawsuits, so they can say that the amount of pesticides found present is within acceptable ranges of human tolerance, without causing any significant issues of which can be proven in a Court of Injustice!
I haven't even scratched the surface at the Corporate corruption out there, but if you love your family, and your children, this is stuff you should already know, because all this garbage is going into their mouths, disguised innocently, marketed as healthy, and all Government approved.
Modified (food, corn, tapioca, and rice) starch -- If it's modified, that means it's not original!
Artificial dyes, such as Red-40, making kids angry, and hyperactive in school, as well as having various health risks.
Genetic Engineering - don't fall for that "Partially produced with..."; Either it is, or it isn't! There's an entire science behind this!
Natural Flavors - Organisms are considered natural, but there's nothing natural about the intention!
Non-GMO Verified, Go to the Official Non-GMO Verified Website, click on Faq Verification, scroll down to last question - READ
If you don't want to, I'll save you the time...
a) Unfortunately, “GMO Free” and similar claims are not legally or scientifically defensible due to limitations of testing methodology"
b) While the Non-GMO Project Verified seal is not a “GMO free” claim, it is trustworthy, defensible, transparent, and North America’s only independent verification for products made according to best practices for GMO avoidance.
Do not be deceived by the last clause, (b) above, first (a) they cover themselves legally against lawsuits, by telling you the truth, then a partial truth in (b), the last part of which they totally contradict themselves, just to confuse you, into thinking, "Okay, so it's safe to eat, because that's the last thing they said in the sentence!"
They are as transparent as the rest of the Government!
Popular burger chains tested for antibiotics in beef
Published on Oct 17, 2018
The Context...
Consumer groups tested burgers from 25 popular chains and gave 22 of them, including McDonald's and Burger King, failing grades for the presence of antibiotics in beef. CBS News' Hilary Lane reports.
Translated into Semi-FUNNY...
Breaking News beyond repair -- Amidst the increasing fears American's already have of what's lurking under the microscopes in the foods now being approved for our consumption, we have a bit of good news we hope will lighten the mood. I mean, bad compared to worse, isn't all that bad, is it?
In America, nothing says LOVE, more than the efforts of those highly trained and qualified professionals working night and day, to provide us with the best quality foods that go into the mouths of our loved ones. A few notable mentions...
ConAgra, the name itself embodies such, um, ...dirt and other stuff, ...have to check with Monsanto on that for clarification.
Kraft, when natural just isn't good enough, they've gone that extra mile bringing you closer to the next evolutionary step of mankind
Hebrew National, though I doubt anyone at ConAgra actually speaks Hebrew, perhaps just another attempt to blame the Jews.
Soy Vay Enterprises, Owned by the Clorox Company, I ate this stuff for years, till one day the GMO warning labels started showing up
Hain Celestial Group, I used to drink the heck out of this stuff, till the pesticides started showing up!
Quaker Oats, always a trusted name in just about every household, that is until PepsiCo bought them out, and pesticides were found!
Minute-Maid, owned by Coca Cola Company, having ruined their own reputations, they're now staying in business under trusted labels
Tropicana, owned by PepsiCo, Coca Cola's evil twin!
General Mills, just another dime a dozen corporation jumping on the "Produced with Genetic Engineering" bandwagon!
Moral of the story..
EPA is now regulating how much pesticides are safe for human consumption, so as to stop the growing influx of corporate lawsuits, so they can say that the amount of pesticides found present is within acceptable ranges of human tolerance, without causing any significant issues of which can be proven in a Court of Injustice!
I haven't even scratched the surface at the Corporate corruption out there, but if you love your family, and your children, this is stuff you should already know, because all this garbage is going into their mouths, disguised innocently, marketed as healthy, and all Government approved.
Modified (food, corn, tapioca, and rice) starch -- If it's modified, that means it's not original!
Artificial dyes, such as Red-40, making kids angry, and hyperactive in school, as well as having various health risks.
Genetic Engineering - don't fall for that "Partially produced with..."; Either it is, or it isn't! There's an entire science behind this!
Natural Flavors - Organisms are considered natural, but there's nothing natural about the intention!
Non-GMO Verified, Go to the Official Non-GMO Verified Website, click on Faq Verification, scroll down to last question - READ
If you don't want to, I'll save you the time...
a) Unfortunately, “GMO Free” and similar claims are not legally or scientifically defensible due to limitations of testing methodology"
b) While the Non-GMO Project Verified seal is not a “GMO free” claim, it is trustworthy, defensible, transparent, and North America’s only independent verification for products made according to best practices for GMO avoidance.
Do not be deceived by the last clause, (b) above, first (a) they cover themselves legally against lawsuits, by telling you the truth, then a partial truth in (b), the last part of which they totally contradict themselves, just to confuse you, into thinking, "Okay, so it's safe to eat, because that's the last thing they said in the sentence!"
They are as transparent as the rest of the Government!
Actual News Headline reads...
Former Ecuadorian ambassador to UK speaks on Julian Assange
Published on Oct 14, 2018
The Context...
In 2012, Wikileaks' Julian Assange walked into the Ecuadorian embassy in London seeking political asylum. He was escaping possible extradition to Sweden where he faced rape charges . Six years later, Assange is still held up inside the embassy with little hope of leaving anytime soon. We speak to Ana Alban, who was Ecuador’s ambassador to the United Kingdom when Assange walked into the embassy
Translated into IRONIC...
Breaking News: Whether it's forbidden articles, media and political messages, or the disfavor of a political candidate, or just farting in public without saying you're sorry! Ecuadorian law continues to impress the world over, showing it's flexibility in being able to juggle both the needs of Government with the wants of Government resulting in that perfect balance of imbalance with respect to, or rather a lack thereof, it's People, closing twenty private TV or radio stations in 2012, the same year Julian Assange requested asylum to Ecuador!
To further improve relations, Officials warned the judges that they would be sanctioned and possibly dismissed, depending upon what mood they so happened to be in, if they allowed the citizens to appeal to the protection of their Constitutional Rights against the State.
Starting to sound like what the American Government is becoming...
People engaging in public protests outside of that which goes beyond what they are allowed to think within their heads, that goes against protecting the environment and other issues that may later come to mind, are prosecuted for "terrorism and sabotage" which may lead to an eight-year prison sentence, depending upon how well known you are, otherwise, it's just a bullet to the head!
The question now being asked is not where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, but where is Julian Assange?
In the latest update to this issue, former honest Ecuadorian Ambassador reveals much about nothing at all! We here in America, call that "nothing much". However, if you are reading between the lines, amounts to Julian Assange is NOT dead, not by much, and we do not want to go back to being irrelevant, because we still have secrets disclosed by Assange, that we're not telling, and you can't make us!
Moral of the story...
2012 Julian Assange walked into the Ecuadorian Embassy seeking asylum, but did not do his research well enough to know that a Government that does not respect the People, will not respect a Julian Assange!
Former Ecuadorian ambassador to UK speaks on Julian Assange
Published on Oct 14, 2018
The Context...
In 2012, Wikileaks' Julian Assange walked into the Ecuadorian embassy in London seeking political asylum. He was escaping possible extradition to Sweden where he faced rape charges . Six years later, Assange is still held up inside the embassy with little hope of leaving anytime soon. We speak to Ana Alban, who was Ecuador’s ambassador to the United Kingdom when Assange walked into the embassy
Translated into IRONIC...
Breaking News: Whether it's forbidden articles, media and political messages, or the disfavor of a political candidate, or just farting in public without saying you're sorry! Ecuadorian law continues to impress the world over, showing it's flexibility in being able to juggle both the needs of Government with the wants of Government resulting in that perfect balance of imbalance with respect to, or rather a lack thereof, it's People, closing twenty private TV or radio stations in 2012, the same year Julian Assange requested asylum to Ecuador!
To further improve relations, Officials warned the judges that they would be sanctioned and possibly dismissed, depending upon what mood they so happened to be in, if they allowed the citizens to appeal to the protection of their Constitutional Rights against the State.
Starting to sound like what the American Government is becoming...
People engaging in public protests outside of that which goes beyond what they are allowed to think within their heads, that goes against protecting the environment and other issues that may later come to mind, are prosecuted for "terrorism and sabotage" which may lead to an eight-year prison sentence, depending upon how well known you are, otherwise, it's just a bullet to the head!
The question now being asked is not where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, but where is Julian Assange?
In the latest update to this issue, former honest Ecuadorian Ambassador reveals much about nothing at all! We here in America, call that "nothing much". However, if you are reading between the lines, amounts to Julian Assange is NOT dead, not by much, and we do not want to go back to being irrelevant, because we still have secrets disclosed by Assange, that we're not telling, and you can't make us!
Moral of the story...
2012 Julian Assange walked into the Ecuadorian Embassy seeking asylum, but did not do his research well enough to know that a Government that does not respect the People, will not respect a Julian Assange!
Actual News Headline reads...
Central Government Employees Salary Hike & Fitment Factor| 7th pay commission Latest News Today 2018
Published on Oct 15, 2018
The Context...
N/A
Translated into FUNNY...
Latest News Sorry, got stuck at a green light, pay me more I'll get to work on time! In the news, per China's request to India to come up with a solution that will curtail American bullying, it has released a new song and dance, but this time to the tune of $$$, a pay hike of which appears to be more of an incentive to motivate people to be more beautiful than American's. The pay hike will only be awarded those that agree to participate in a fitness regimen! The answer still remains of whether or not these carrot on a stick tactics will be enough to surpass the ugly in which America has been drowning in for decades.
Donald Trump wants to make America Great again, I'm not greedy, I'd settle for good looking myself!
Central Government Employees Salary Hike & Fitment Factor| 7th pay commission Latest News Today 2018
Published on Oct 15, 2018
The Context...
N/A
Translated into FUNNY...
Latest News Sorry, got stuck at a green light, pay me more I'll get to work on time! In the news, per China's request to India to come up with a solution that will curtail American bullying, it has released a new song and dance, but this time to the tune of $$$, a pay hike of which appears to be more of an incentive to motivate people to be more beautiful than American's. The pay hike will only be awarded those that agree to participate in a fitness regimen! The answer still remains of whether or not these carrot on a stick tactics will be enough to surpass the ugly in which America has been drowning in for decades.
Donald Trump wants to make America Great again, I'm not greedy, I'd settle for good looking myself!
Actual News Headline reads...
Border official: still illegal to bring pot to US
Published on Oct 17, 2018
The Context...
US officials are reminding travelers that it remains illegal to bring marijuana into the United States at border crossings despite the legalization of the drug in Canada. (Oct. 17) -- The Associated Press
Translated...
Latest News Network Here at Latest News, we strive to be last, because if it isn't already trending, why waste our time, and your money... Per the UN Convention on Psychotropic Substances Treaty of 1971, the United Nations has long since been the unbeaten heavy weight drug distributer in the World, having it's claws dug deep in the addictions of just about all non UN-supporting underdeveloped Countries, whilst enforcing the opposite to protect their own developing Nations.
U.S. Federal Government passes those laws thus approved by their UN masters, that allows once illegal drugs, now to be legally produced, transported, and distributed by controlling the distribution points themselves, making such drugs legal in some states, remaining illegal in others, allows them to weaken a People whom they want pacified, as well as to control the wealth being produced, but does not however, stop the incursion of foreign drug markets trying to cut off a piece of the pie for themselves. THIS, the United Nations will not tolerate! This is what US Border Officials are truly fighting for control over, ...to determine who will benefit from it, and who will remain the victims!
Border official: still illegal to bring pot to US
Published on Oct 17, 2018
The Context...
US officials are reminding travelers that it remains illegal to bring marijuana into the United States at border crossings despite the legalization of the drug in Canada. (Oct. 17) -- The Associated Press
Translated...
Latest News Network Here at Latest News, we strive to be last, because if it isn't already trending, why waste our time, and your money... Per the UN Convention on Psychotropic Substances Treaty of 1971, the United Nations has long since been the unbeaten heavy weight drug distributer in the World, having it's claws dug deep in the addictions of just about all non UN-supporting underdeveloped Countries, whilst enforcing the opposite to protect their own developing Nations.
U.S. Federal Government passes those laws thus approved by their UN masters, that allows once illegal drugs, now to be legally produced, transported, and distributed by controlling the distribution points themselves, making such drugs legal in some states, remaining illegal in others, allows them to weaken a People whom they want pacified, as well as to control the wealth being produced, but does not however, stop the incursion of foreign drug markets trying to cut off a piece of the pie for themselves. THIS, the United Nations will not tolerate! This is what US Border Officials are truly fighting for control over, ...to determine who will benefit from it, and who will remain the victims!
Actual News Headline reads...
Syria air strikes: Latest updates- BBC News
Published on Apr 14, 2018
The Context...
The US, UK and France have carried out air and missile strikes in Syria in retaliation for a suspected chemical weapons attack last Saturday. The US says three targets were struck - a research facility in Damascus and storage facilities near Homs
Russia said missiles were also aimed at other targets but many were intercepted by air defenses
President Trump said the allies had "marshaled their righteous power against barbarism and brutality"
Russia's president Putin condemned the strikes and called for an urgent UN meeting
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad says the "aggression" has redoubled Syria's determination to "crush terrorism"
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: In a failed attempt to send an unclear message from the United Nuisance, that expensive Chemical Weapons will not be destroyed by Israel ...an UN-necessary team of joint smoking, US, UK, fighters, eating French fries, set off on a race against time, and Israeli pilots, to convince the Israeli's that weapons with questionable intent were destroyed, and that Israeli assistance, was appreciated, but would not be required! Passing pigeon confirmed the absolute and total destruction of said Chemical Weapons!
Moral of the story... If you don't want weapons destroyed, send in the United Nothing to put on a good show!
If it had been Israel, you would have at least gotten some of those delicious Israeli chocolates Amir Tsarfati is always talking about! Shalom Aleichem Blessings to Israel! Want something done right, send an Israeli!
Syria air strikes: Latest updates- BBC News
Published on Apr 14, 2018
The Context...
The US, UK and France have carried out air and missile strikes in Syria in retaliation for a suspected chemical weapons attack last Saturday. The US says three targets were struck - a research facility in Damascus and storage facilities near Homs
Russia said missiles were also aimed at other targets but many were intercepted by air defenses
President Trump said the allies had "marshaled their righteous power against barbarism and brutality"
Russia's president Putin condemned the strikes and called for an urgent UN meeting
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad says the "aggression" has redoubled Syria's determination to "crush terrorism"
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: In a failed attempt to send an unclear message from the United Nuisance, that expensive Chemical Weapons will not be destroyed by Israel ...an UN-necessary team of joint smoking, US, UK, fighters, eating French fries, set off on a race against time, and Israeli pilots, to convince the Israeli's that weapons with questionable intent were destroyed, and that Israeli assistance, was appreciated, but would not be required! Passing pigeon confirmed the absolute and total destruction of said Chemical Weapons!
Moral of the story... If you don't want weapons destroyed, send in the United Nothing to put on a good show!
If it had been Israel, you would have at least gotten some of those delicious Israeli chocolates Amir Tsarfati is always talking about! Shalom Aleichem Blessings to Israel! Want something done right, send an Israeli!
Actual News Headline reads...
Breaking News: Indiscriminate firing inside a church in Texas, America
Published on Nov 5, 2017
The Context...
अमेरिका के टेक्सस में एक चर्च के अंदर अंधाधुंध गोलीबारी
(I'm sorry I don't understand that)
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Again more violence has escalated out of control as fanatical gun toting Bible thumping Christians fired without mercy into a local fellowship hall, breaking a window, and causing major disruptions for many of the non-Christian innocent victims then engaged in quiet solemn prayer when the frightening tragedy had taken place! At least one witness, a squirrel was briefly questioned by the authorities.
Breaking News: Indiscriminate firing inside a church in Texas, America
Published on Nov 5, 2017
The Context...
अमेरिका के टेक्सस में एक चर्च के अंदर अंधाधुंध गोलीबारी
(I'm sorry I don't understand that)
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Again more violence has escalated out of control as fanatical gun toting Bible thumping Christians fired without mercy into a local fellowship hall, breaking a window, and causing major disruptions for many of the non-Christian innocent victims then engaged in quiet solemn prayer when the frightening tragedy had taken place! At least one witness, a squirrel was briefly questioned by the authorities.
Actual News Headline reads...
BREAKING NEWS TRUMP 10/14/18 - Trump On Economy: America Is Booming
Published on Oct 14, 2018
The Context...
(I must confess, I..., didn't watch the video! I saw the word BOOMING and assumed it had something to do with the Middle East! I just did what most kids do these days on the Internet, picked out a few random key words, then assumed I had the complete picture!)
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Donald Trump, BACK at the Honkey House after a back rub, and an uneventful weekend of appearances with Kanye West, together, flirting with Congress, eating cracker jacks, and discussing possible pollutants, I mean solutions, for curing the poverty that has been affecting low income residential zones. Both agree, there is much potential in developing this real estate further, after poverty has been wiped out!
BREAKING NEWS TRUMP 10/14/18 - Trump On Economy: America Is Booming
Published on Oct 14, 2018
The Context...
(I must confess, I..., didn't watch the video! I saw the word BOOMING and assumed it had something to do with the Middle East! I just did what most kids do these days on the Internet, picked out a few random key words, then assumed I had the complete picture!)
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Donald Trump, BACK at the Honkey House after a back rub, and an uneventful weekend of appearances with Kanye West, together, flirting with Congress, eating cracker jacks, and discussing possible pollutants, I mean solutions, for curing the poverty that has been affecting low income residential zones. Both agree, there is much potential in developing this real estate further, after poverty has been wiped out!
Actual News Headline reads...
Trump warns Russia to get ready for US retaliation in Syria
Published on Apr 11, 2018
Related (See above) Syria air strikes: Latest updates- BBC News
The Context...
President promises response to suspected chemical weapons attack as Russia warns of reactions; chief White House correspondent John Roberts reports.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Russia on hearing of the destruction of expensive Chemical Weapons, of which they themselves had nothing to do with, were furious that so many lives could have been lost had these weapons not been spotted by US, UK, fighters, whom by chance, just happened to be in the area, eating French fries, on their way back after destroying another Chemical Weapons cache reportedly in the same area. The new cache was properly removed by highly trained field personnel, to a safer more child friendly location, out of sight of crack Israeli pilots!
Trump warns Russia to get ready for US retaliation in Syria
Published on Apr 11, 2018
Related (See above) Syria air strikes: Latest updates- BBC News
The Context...
President promises response to suspected chemical weapons attack as Russia warns of reactions; chief White House correspondent John Roberts reports.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Russia on hearing of the destruction of expensive Chemical Weapons, of which they themselves had nothing to do with, were furious that so many lives could have been lost had these weapons not been spotted by US, UK, fighters, whom by chance, just happened to be in the area, eating French fries, on their way back after destroying another Chemical Weapons cache reportedly in the same area. The new cache was properly removed by highly trained field personnel, to a safer more child friendly location, out of sight of crack Israeli pilots!
Actual News Headline reads...
BREAKING NEWS: America Gives Pakistan The Last Ultimatum
Published on Jan 8, 2018
The Context...
In a strong statement against Pakistan's complicit support of terrorism within its territory, America released a statement warning Pakistan to take action against terrorists such as the Taliban, the Haqqani Network, and Hizbul Mujahideen otherwise aid would not be resumed.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: In the news today, America in a show of compassion gives Pakistan it's last bit of Uranium, a touching gesture of kindness not seen since, um, ...America gave weapons to Iran, which ended up in the hands of ISIS. ...leaving many American's living in the dark, with only Genetic Engineering and pesticide rations to fight over, with some reported cases of cannabis eating in devastated places around California, where such is all that is available to eat!
Related News: United Nuisance gives Pakistan final ultimatum, because the previous one was just a mic check!
On a serious note...
Tetrahydrocannabinol, called THC, is the principal psychoactive constituent of cannabis and is a lipid found in cannabis, assumed to be involved in the plant's self-defense, putatively against insect predation, ultraviolet light, and environmental stress
Cannabis as a plant is specifically still listed under Schedule I by US federal law under the Controlled Substances Act for having "no accepted medical use" and "lack of accepted safety".
EPA is now regulating how much pesticides are safe for human consumption; Looks like you're also inhaling a natural form of a plants self-defense system.
Above quote: ...assumed to be involved in the plant's self-defense, putatively against insect predation...
Putative means to be known as something by reputation, or assumed to be something, or generally accepted, but just because something is assumed or accepted doesn't make it true!
(My friends mom was on "Medical Marijuana" and she died of cancer. Esoterically, they can say they're distributing this drug to sick people to help them die quicker, or that they were going to die anyway, ...either way, I call it what it is, and that is legalized institutionalized MURDER)
The Convention on Psychotropic Substances of 1971 is a United Nations treaty designed to control psychoactive drugs such as amphetamine-type stimulants, barbiturates, benzodiazepines, and psychedelics
The reason our United Nations supporting leaders are using American Law, to dispense this "Medical Marijuana" which has been legal now in California for some time, and spilling over to other states, so as to not raise suspicions by implementing it all at once, Nation wide, ...is because it's their "medical" solution for a People, they've long since stopped serving, and a means to target a large percentage of those among us, whom do have medical conditions; Knowing as well, that there will also be tremendous misuse in the distribution of said drug, to those that are not sick.
BREAKING NEWS: America Gives Pakistan The Last Ultimatum
Published on Jan 8, 2018
The Context...
In a strong statement against Pakistan's complicit support of terrorism within its territory, America released a statement warning Pakistan to take action against terrorists such as the Taliban, the Haqqani Network, and Hizbul Mujahideen otherwise aid would not be resumed.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: In the news today, America in a show of compassion gives Pakistan it's last bit of Uranium, a touching gesture of kindness not seen since, um, ...America gave weapons to Iran, which ended up in the hands of ISIS. ...leaving many American's living in the dark, with only Genetic Engineering and pesticide rations to fight over, with some reported cases of cannabis eating in devastated places around California, where such is all that is available to eat!
Related News: United Nuisance gives Pakistan final ultimatum, because the previous one was just a mic check!
On a serious note...
Tetrahydrocannabinol, called THC, is the principal psychoactive constituent of cannabis and is a lipid found in cannabis, assumed to be involved in the plant's self-defense, putatively against insect predation, ultraviolet light, and environmental stress
Cannabis as a plant is specifically still listed under Schedule I by US federal law under the Controlled Substances Act for having "no accepted medical use" and "lack of accepted safety".
EPA is now regulating how much pesticides are safe for human consumption; Looks like you're also inhaling a natural form of a plants self-defense system.
Above quote: ...assumed to be involved in the plant's self-defense, putatively against insect predation...
Putative means to be known as something by reputation, or assumed to be something, or generally accepted, but just because something is assumed or accepted doesn't make it true!
(My friends mom was on "Medical Marijuana" and she died of cancer. Esoterically, they can say they're distributing this drug to sick people to help them die quicker, or that they were going to die anyway, ...either way, I call it what it is, and that is legalized institutionalized MURDER)
The Convention on Psychotropic Substances of 1971 is a United Nations treaty designed to control psychoactive drugs such as amphetamine-type stimulants, barbiturates, benzodiazepines, and psychedelics
The reason our United Nations supporting leaders are using American Law, to dispense this "Medical Marijuana" which has been legal now in California for some time, and spilling over to other states, so as to not raise suspicions by implementing it all at once, Nation wide, ...is because it's their "medical" solution for a People, they've long since stopped serving, and a means to target a large percentage of those among us, whom do have medical conditions; Knowing as well, that there will also be tremendous misuse in the distribution of said drug, to those that are not sick.
Actual News Headline reads...
Is war with Iran on the horizon?
Published on May 13, 2018
The Context...
A day after U.S. President Trump walked away from the Iran nuclear deal, the Middle East lit up with airstrikes between Israel and Iran this week. According to U.S./Iranian expert Trita Parsi, it could lay the groundwork for a full military conflict with the U.S… and a regime change in Iran.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Today in United Nations propaganda, UN Spokesman President Trump, in a dramatized show, more to impress the American People, walks away from the Iran not-so-clear deal, that the U.S. has been invested in now for 7 years (September 11, 2012), following the untimely precisely timed assassination of Ambassador Stevens in Benghazi, his death (disguised as a terrorist attack). Stevens formerly held the position in relation to the Iran Nuclear issue. Sadly, he will be missed by many, certainly by those that worked closely with him; A respected man, considered irreplaceable by those that assassinated him.
To this day the Clinton Administration still quite choked up, and suffering over the utter loss of yet, just another expendable human life; That fragile life now far removed, replaced by someone more flexible towards shady political agenda's by those in high places with allegiances to ideologies other than to that of the American Republic, and the People, there under.
Related News: Donald Trump, in a statement made by Harold McBroom, said that if Iran does not quid it, that he will make them build the next wall, ...not just that, but force them to like it as well, ...and make them say, "thankyou!"
Is war with Iran on the horizon?
Published on May 13, 2018
The Context...
A day after U.S. President Trump walked away from the Iran nuclear deal, the Middle East lit up with airstrikes between Israel and Iran this week. According to U.S./Iranian expert Trita Parsi, it could lay the groundwork for a full military conflict with the U.S… and a regime change in Iran.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Today in United Nations propaganda, UN Spokesman President Trump, in a dramatized show, more to impress the American People, walks away from the Iran not-so-clear deal, that the U.S. has been invested in now for 7 years (September 11, 2012), following the untimely precisely timed assassination of Ambassador Stevens in Benghazi, his death (disguised as a terrorist attack). Stevens formerly held the position in relation to the Iran Nuclear issue. Sadly, he will be missed by many, certainly by those that worked closely with him; A respected man, considered irreplaceable by those that assassinated him.
To this day the Clinton Administration still quite choked up, and suffering over the utter loss of yet, just another expendable human life; That fragile life now far removed, replaced by someone more flexible towards shady political agenda's by those in high places with allegiances to ideologies other than to that of the American Republic, and the People, there under.
Related News: Donald Trump, in a statement made by Harold McBroom, said that if Iran does not quid it, that he will make them build the next wall, ...not just that, but force them to like it as well, ...and make them say, "thankyou!"
Actual News Headline reads...
U.S.-North Korea Summit In Singapore | NBC News
Published on Jun 11, 2018
The Context...
President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un are set to meet face to face in Singapore to discuss denuclearization of the Korean peninsula.
Translated into FUNNY...
From Breaking Bad, to Breaking Wind, to Breaking News, we cover it all! Today sets the stage as U.S. and N. Korea face off in a bitter duel to the death, winner takes all, but not quite as you would expect... This duel does not involve weapons, but as you have probably guessed, "singing" where the most talented from both countries have gotten together in Singapoor, the winner donates the proceeds to the poor in Singapoor, so that they do not have to be poor any more!
What you call a sing off in Sing a' poor!
In other news, Leaders from both Countries, the U.S. (UN) and N. Korea, met briefly in public for a bowl of Ramon Noodles, followed by a long drawn out discussion behind closed doors to discuss destabilization of the entire Korean peninsula, the offset of which, perfect amid the Elections just around the corner, and a politically starving America ready to vote for the first politician that actually does anything, after 4 years of having done nothing on American Soil.
U.S.-North Korea Summit In Singapore | NBC News
Published on Jun 11, 2018
The Context...
President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un are set to meet face to face in Singapore to discuss denuclearization of the Korean peninsula.
Translated into FUNNY...
From Breaking Bad, to Breaking Wind, to Breaking News, we cover it all! Today sets the stage as U.S. and N. Korea face off in a bitter duel to the death, winner takes all, but not quite as you would expect... This duel does not involve weapons, but as you have probably guessed, "singing" where the most talented from both countries have gotten together in Singapoor, the winner donates the proceeds to the poor in Singapoor, so that they do not have to be poor any more!
What you call a sing off in Sing a' poor!
In other news, Leaders from both Countries, the U.S. (UN) and N. Korea, met briefly in public for a bowl of Ramon Noodles, followed by a long drawn out discussion behind closed doors to discuss destabilization of the entire Korean peninsula, the offset of which, perfect amid the Elections just around the corner, and a politically starving America ready to vote for the first politician that actually does anything, after 4 years of having done nothing on American Soil.
Actual News Headline reads...
USA Today: U.S. "most dangerous" place to give birth in developed world
Published on Jul 26, 2018
The Context...
USA Today investigation finds the United States is the "most dangerous place to give birth in the developed world." Every year in the U.S., more than 50,000 mothers are severely injured during or after childbirth and 700 die. Maternal death in the U.S. has been steadily rising and it now has the highest rate in the developed world. USA Today conducted a four-year investigation into the nation's hospital maternity wards, speaking to several families who lost loved ones and to women who were permanently harmed during their deliveries. USA Today investigative reporter Alison Young joins "CBS This Morning" to discuss the investigation.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking propaganda: A new investigation conducted by angry immigrants hired in the News Industry to replace American's not so willing to spread false news, suggests that the zoo may no longer be the safest place to have babies! And suggest the safest places now are those outside of the U.S., such as Iran, Pakistan, Egypt, all just ideal vacation getaways to spend those special moments, with that special person, (Cairo you can buy an infant for 8 pounds)
In other news, a newer new, recent thorough investigation conduced by um, ...USA Today, the Elsewhere Division, concludes that the out-of-control breeding habits of impoverished 3rd World Americans has been determined to pose a significant threat to United Nations Developing Countries, one person commenting said, "It's really sad you know, 2.4 million new "YouTube" jobs created by Donald Trump, for a Country with a population count of 350 Million; They're making babies faster than they can earn money to provide for them!"
USA Today: U.S. "most dangerous" place to give birth in developed world
Published on Jul 26, 2018
The Context...
USA Today investigation finds the United States is the "most dangerous place to give birth in the developed world." Every year in the U.S., more than 50,000 mothers are severely injured during or after childbirth and 700 die. Maternal death in the U.S. has been steadily rising and it now has the highest rate in the developed world. USA Today conducted a four-year investigation into the nation's hospital maternity wards, speaking to several families who lost loved ones and to women who were permanently harmed during their deliveries. USA Today investigative reporter Alison Young joins "CBS This Morning" to discuss the investigation.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking propaganda: A new investigation conducted by angry immigrants hired in the News Industry to replace American's not so willing to spread false news, suggests that the zoo may no longer be the safest place to have babies! And suggest the safest places now are those outside of the U.S., such as Iran, Pakistan, Egypt, all just ideal vacation getaways to spend those special moments, with that special person, (Cairo you can buy an infant for 8 pounds)
In other news, a newer new, recent thorough investigation conduced by um, ...USA Today, the Elsewhere Division, concludes that the out-of-control breeding habits of impoverished 3rd World Americans has been determined to pose a significant threat to United Nations Developing Countries, one person commenting said, "It's really sad you know, 2.4 million new "YouTube" jobs created by Donald Trump, for a Country with a population count of 350 Million; They're making babies faster than they can earn money to provide for them!"
Actual News Headline reads...
Trump on North Korea: 'Powerful US military is ready' - BBC News
Published on May 24, 2018
The Context...
US President Donald Trump has cancelled a summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, blaming "tremendous anger and open hostility" from the North.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: United Nations spokesperson Donald Trump bravely flexes American military muscles in a strong show of support for the next series of UN sponsored "war" games, in which they intentionally pit two armies against each other, weakening both sides, that the United Nations will not have to contend with either, later on, when they start doing their own killing!
Trump on North Korea: 'Powerful US military is ready' - BBC News
Published on May 24, 2018
The Context...
US President Donald Trump has cancelled a summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, blaming "tremendous anger and open hostility" from the North.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: United Nations spokesperson Donald Trump bravely flexes American military muscles in a strong show of support for the next series of UN sponsored "war" games, in which they intentionally pit two armies against each other, weakening both sides, that the United Nations will not have to contend with either, later on, when they start doing their own killing!
Actual News Headline reads...
Lindsey Graham on US-Turkey relations after pastor's release
Published on Oct 12, 2018
The Context...
Senator Graham reacts to the release of American Pastor Brunson after two years of imprisonment in Turkey.
Translated into FUNNY...
Fox Breaking News Report: Lindsey Graham, in a most recent interview, indicates a fast dwindling relationship between U.S. / Turkey relations shortly following the past Thanksgiving Holiday; Fear spreads, as YouTuber's regurgitate rumors being speculated, that next Thanksgiving, American's may find themselves eating chicken!
Lindsey Graham on US-Turkey relations after pastor's release
Published on Oct 12, 2018
The Context...
Senator Graham reacts to the release of American Pastor Brunson after two years of imprisonment in Turkey.
Translated into FUNNY...
Fox Breaking News Report: Lindsey Graham, in a most recent interview, indicates a fast dwindling relationship between U.S. / Turkey relations shortly following the past Thanksgiving Holiday; Fear spreads, as YouTuber's regurgitate rumors being speculated, that next Thanksgiving, American's may find themselves eating chicken!
Actual News Headline reads...
Breaking News: China seeks India's help to stop US' bullying tactics
Published on Oct 10, 2018
The Context...
China has sought India's help to stop US' bullying tactics.
Translated into SERIOUS...
Breaking News: With computers in just about every home, many are finding other uses, than just seemingly innocent video games, ...now with the popular trend of fake news, and politically directed propaganda, computers are fast becoming the most widely used weapon in use today within the arsenal of psychological operations, all conducted on several fronts, representing innumerable factions, having just as many motives, spanning from Country to Country, all happening simultaneously, with the internet being the main battleground, spreading to each, and to all, their hatreds for one another, down to the civilian sector. There is no one whom is not a victim in this war!
But we don't have to be a part of it!
I love everyone in the World, including you, let's stop hating each other, and doing their dirty work! We do not have to join the New World Order, to have a mutual respect for one another!
Breaking News: China seeks India's help to stop US' bullying tactics
Published on Oct 10, 2018
The Context...
China has sought India's help to stop US' bullying tactics.
Translated into SERIOUS...
Breaking News: With computers in just about every home, many are finding other uses, than just seemingly innocent video games, ...now with the popular trend of fake news, and politically directed propaganda, computers are fast becoming the most widely used weapon in use today within the arsenal of psychological operations, all conducted on several fronts, representing innumerable factions, having just as many motives, spanning from Country to Country, all happening simultaneously, with the internet being the main battleground, spreading to each, and to all, their hatreds for one another, down to the civilian sector. There is no one whom is not a victim in this war!
But we don't have to be a part of it!
I love everyone in the World, including you, let's stop hating each other, and doing their dirty work! We do not have to join the New World Order, to have a mutual respect for one another!
Actual News Headline reads...
Canadian Vs U.S. Breaking News Is Night & Day
Published on Oct 23, 2014
Related (See above) Lindsey Graham on US-Turkey relations after pastor's release
The Context...
Today’s shooting of a soldier by what appears to be a lone gunman outside of Canadian Parliament in Ottawa has given Americans a glimpse into how our neighbors to the north cover breaking news on television.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Following the events of our previous report, mass hysteria has crossed over, now upsetting pigs, the source of which comprises the worlds largest supply of Canadian Bacon. It is further rumored that if things do not improve, pigs may move elsewhere, and the only bacon remembered, will be that of Francis Bacon
Canadian Vs U.S. Breaking News Is Night & Day
Published on Oct 23, 2014
Related (See above) Lindsey Graham on US-Turkey relations after pastor's release
The Context...
Today’s shooting of a soldier by what appears to be a lone gunman outside of Canadian Parliament in Ottawa has given Americans a glimpse into how our neighbors to the north cover breaking news on television.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Following the events of our previous report, mass hysteria has crossed over, now upsetting pigs, the source of which comprises the worlds largest supply of Canadian Bacon. It is further rumored that if things do not improve, pigs may move elsewhere, and the only bacon remembered, will be that of Francis Bacon
Actual News Headline reads...
Vardaat: We Are Ready To Deal With North Korea's Kim Jong-un Alone, Says Donald Trump
Published on Apr 11, 2017
The Context...
After North Korea warned that it's nuclear sights 'are focused on the US' as Donald Trump.
US President Donald Trump said that," the US is ready to solve the North Korean “problem” without China if necessary.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: In a shocking portrayal of heroic bravery, President Trump, fed up with N. Korea, being N. Korea, challenged Kim Jong-Un, alone, in a one vs one, arm wrestling match. With no one present to witness the ordeal, it's highly speculative that the match was probably a tie.
Vardaat: We Are Ready To Deal With North Korea's Kim Jong-un Alone, Says Donald Trump
Published on Apr 11, 2017
The Context...
After North Korea warned that it's nuclear sights 'are focused on the US' as Donald Trump.
US President Donald Trump said that," the US is ready to solve the North Korean “problem” without China if necessary.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: In a shocking portrayal of heroic bravery, President Trump, fed up with N. Korea, being N. Korea, challenged Kim Jong-Un, alone, in a one vs one, arm wrestling match. With no one present to witness the ordeal, it's highly speculative that the match was probably a tie.
Actual News Headline reads...
America में शांत पड़े Kilauea Volcano में जोरदार Blast, देखे दिल दहला देने वाली तस्वीरें
Published on May 4, 2018
The Context...
In America a series of fresh earthquakes on Friday, including a powerful magnitude 6.9, hit Hawaii's Big Island, where the Kilauea volcano has been spewing fountains of lava into residential areas and forcing hundreds to evacuate.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: The World stares, their mouths agape in utter shock and awe, the horror creeping beneath their half shut eyelids, refusing to see what is before their very eyes... a 6.9 shockwave has just hit America! Wiping it completely off the map, "the scene is unlike anything I've ever seen before", one bystander says, ...with hysterical people, tears down many faces, those that were planning to kill us anyway, just got robbed of the honor! They can still kick our dead corpses, that's better than nothing!
(Just putting it out there! -- Sounds like something Eric Holder would say, he loves kicking ya when you're down!!)
America में शांत पड़े Kilauea Volcano में जोरदार Blast, देखे दिल दहला देने वाली तस्वीरें
Published on May 4, 2018
The Context...
In America a series of fresh earthquakes on Friday, including a powerful magnitude 6.9, hit Hawaii's Big Island, where the Kilauea volcano has been spewing fountains of lava into residential areas and forcing hundreds to evacuate.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: The World stares, their mouths agape in utter shock and awe, the horror creeping beneath their half shut eyelids, refusing to see what is before their very eyes... a 6.9 shockwave has just hit America! Wiping it completely off the map, "the scene is unlike anything I've ever seen before", one bystander says, ...with hysterical people, tears down many faces, those that were planning to kill us anyway, just got robbed of the honor! They can still kick our dead corpses, that's better than nothing!
(Just putting it out there! -- Sounds like something Eric Holder would say, he loves kicking ya when you're down!!)
Actual News Headline reads...
Saudi Arabia preparing to admit Jamal Khashoggi died in consulate
Published on Oct 15, 2018
The Context...
CBS News has learned Saudi leadership is preparing to admit that missing journalist Jamal Khashoggi's death was the result of an interrogation gone wrong. He was an outspoken critic of the Saudi regime, and was last seen entering the Saudi consulate in Istanbul. CBS News chief White House correspondent Major Garrett reports.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Good evening, for most politicians, as the rest of the world suffers, ...I'm not Jeff, but Jeff doesn't care who I am, so why should I care who I am, in fact, why should you even care who he is... In the news, CBS says that Saudi is preparing to admit that the cause of death for Jamal Khashoggi, had something to do with the heart stopping, no oxygen to the brain, which is always followed by greater complications such as little to no pulse rate activity, what most Mid-Easterners would consider a Natural Death, though speculation is starting to arise in various places. More on this, as others are killed... This is Harold McBroom, bringing you breaking live news about well, ...dead people!
Saudi Arabia preparing to admit Jamal Khashoggi died in consulate
Published on Oct 15, 2018
The Context...
CBS News has learned Saudi leadership is preparing to admit that missing journalist Jamal Khashoggi's death was the result of an interrogation gone wrong. He was an outspoken critic of the Saudi regime, and was last seen entering the Saudi consulate in Istanbul. CBS News chief White House correspondent Major Garrett reports.
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Good evening, for most politicians, as the rest of the world suffers, ...I'm not Jeff, but Jeff doesn't care who I am, so why should I care who I am, in fact, why should you even care who he is... In the news, CBS says that Saudi is preparing to admit that the cause of death for Jamal Khashoggi, had something to do with the heart stopping, no oxygen to the brain, which is always followed by greater complications such as little to no pulse rate activity, what most Mid-Easterners would consider a Natural Death, though speculation is starting to arise in various places. More on this, as others are killed... This is Harold McBroom, bringing you breaking live news about well, ...dead people!
Actual News Headline reads...
Trump Declares Free-Fire Zone Around Iran - American Latest NEWS Today
Published on Oct 14, 2018
The Context...
US President Donald Trump Declared a Free-Fire Zone, all Around Iran, today, effectively sealing off the country of Iran, from the outside world, reports the Pentagon.
Translated into FUNNY...
Global Nonsense News: Here at Nonsense News, we're creating the news that you want to hear. Trump at it again, has shocked the business world to it's core, in another unexpected move, making war even more so affordable now, than ever before, by removing the costs altogether. Now with zones completely "free", all we have left to fear is FEAR itself. How this will impact the arms race, we'll know when we're (United Nations) picking up your (Iran) body parts, of which America gets the blame.
Trump Declares Free-Fire Zone Around Iran - American Latest NEWS Today
Published on Oct 14, 2018
The Context...
US President Donald Trump Declared a Free-Fire Zone, all Around Iran, today, effectively sealing off the country of Iran, from the outside world, reports the Pentagon.
Translated into FUNNY...
Global Nonsense News: Here at Nonsense News, we're creating the news that you want to hear. Trump at it again, has shocked the business world to it's core, in another unexpected move, making war even more so affordable now, than ever before, by removing the costs altogether. Now with zones completely "free", all we have left to fear is FEAR itself. How this will impact the arms race, we'll know when we're (United Nations) picking up your (Iran) body parts, of which America gets the blame.
Actual News Headline reads...
CNN Today - USA Immigration reform & Mexico Riots
Published on Nov 21, 2014
The Context...
CNN Today co-anchored by Lynda Kinkade & Michael Holmes looks at the Immigration Reforms and border control ahead of President Obama's announcement.
Also breaking news in Mexico as tens of thousands of protestors take to the street after the disappearance of 43 students
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Here at Breaking News we are creating job security, by keeping you informed... If we can't fix the news, we're break it, but the news must go on! In the news today, Mexico had to amp up it's security forces to control what appears to be the ecstatic aftermath of a very happy outcome to what has otherwise been a painfully long and costly journey towards Immigration Reform. Officials say, "Usually they riot when they're angry, but we've never seen them this happy, not since Donald Trumps wall!"
CNN Today - USA Immigration reform & Mexico Riots
Published on Nov 21, 2014
The Context...
CNN Today co-anchored by Lynda Kinkade & Michael Holmes looks at the Immigration Reforms and border control ahead of President Obama's announcement.
Also breaking news in Mexico as tens of thousands of protestors take to the street after the disappearance of 43 students
Translated into FUNNY...
Breaking News: Here at Breaking News we are creating job security, by keeping you informed... If we can't fix the news, we're break it, but the news must go on! In the news today, Mexico had to amp up it's security forces to control what appears to be the ecstatic aftermath of a very happy outcome to what has otherwise been a painfully long and costly journey towards Immigration Reform. Officials say, "Usually they riot when they're angry, but we've never seen them this happy, not since Donald Trumps wall!"
Please keep checking back - More will come when I find more news to poke fun at!
(Newest items will be at the top, below "A General without a war, is like a mouse without cheese" message )
This was posted 10/17/2018
(Newest items will be at the top, below "A General without a war, is like a mouse without cheese" message )
This was posted 10/17/2018